6.12.13

If We Were Having Coffee (1)

This idea was developed by Jamie at The Perpetual Page-Turner and inspired by Ashley at Your Super Awesome Life.  It is a great idea for sharing more about YOU and letting out those things weighing you down.

If we were having coffee... I'd tell you about how stressful this semester was for me.  I was balancing working a full-time placement (unpaid) with an online class I hated and a prof who was either high the whole time or out to get me.  She may not know it, but in the past few months she has cost me $6000 in scholarships and my car insurance discount.

If we were having coffee... I'd tell you about how upset I am over, as it stands now, at risk for failing that one class.  I am a straight-A student, and now I am worried that I have failed this class.

If we were having coffee... I'd tell you about how all my placement requests have been denied.  My last f**king placement and no one wants me.  I have one option left before I have to decide where I feel like moving to.

If we were having coffee... I'd tell you about how, should it come to moving, I'll likely go back to the city my University is in, even though I hate it there.  Even though I maybe have one friend left in the whole damn city.

If we were having coffee... I'd tell you about how I am a pro at pushing people away from me.  I don't make friends easily, and I'm not the easiest person to get along with in real life. 

If we were having coffee... I'd tell you about how I feel about this blog.  As much as I say I really blog for myself, it's hard to have done this for 1.5 years now and feel like I'm not as successful as I should be.  Some days I really question why I bother with it.


If we were having coffee... I'd tell you about how I'm writing this from a really bad place, but writing it has relieved a little bit of the pressure.  I've dealt with depression for a while, but it has been really bad for about the last year.  Some days are better than others, but it's a struggle.

1 comment:

  1. It makes me sad to see that you are having such bad luck right now. And if writing this has helped you even a little bit than it was worth it. I wish you luck with your placement and that damn class. Oh and blogging, I don't feel that successful either, but at least I still enjoy it and have a few close blogger friends that make it worth it. If you still enjoy it then that's what is most important.

    Kay @ It's a Book Life

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